NVC Dojo

I will probably want to heavily edit this. I so yearn for purity and perfection. To be understood and seen as having something worthy of your time. Thank you for your attention.

My sense is that there are overlaps and common ideas, practices, between NVC and the Neurodiversity paradigm. I am more and more convinced that they are both in service of shared emancipatory goals.

A while ago I said I would write a guide for neurodiversity inclusion. There is often a desire for a tick list of things one can do to ensure inclusion (of course there is). I wrote a few and was unhappy with my results. As the saying goes, if you have met and autistic person, you have met an autistic person. In other words, we are individuals with individual needs.

Unfortunately its more complex than a checkbox list, and so I was unable to write one. Becoming neurodivergent inclusive is a journey that invites self growth and deconstruction of cultural ideas promulgated through dominator culture.

An example of the overlap with NVC is the invitation to deconstruct diagnostic thinking. With that also comes the invitation to deconstruct the social structures that embody diagnostic thinking, i.e. to engage with critical psychiatry. We know that Dr. Rosenberg was influenced by Dr. Thomas Szasz. And yet, it is rare for me to see such a deconstruction of the medicalisation of neurodifference or mental distress having happened in so many of the practitioners of NVC in our community. Evidence for me might include co-design of events such that autistic people like me are more able to attend without overwhelm. It not being about 'accommodations' but inclusion in design. For instance, lower expectations about presence or not in any given space at any time would make it more possible to prioritise self care of energy levels. Or quiet spaces to eat. Or written materials being given before events. Or [insert things] – perhaps you can see both the temptation and limitation of such a checklist!?

And in groups I have sometimes invited a small impromptu pop analysis, such as 'hold up your hand if you identify as neurodivergent or have a diagnosis'. Each time I have then estimated that there is about double the percentage of neurodivergent people in each group (and by extrapolation, our community) as we might expect in a population sample. How curious!

Of course I have theories about that.. but those are for another missive at some other time.

And of course, NVC invites and nurtures self advocacy, naming, requesting and dogging that our needs might be met. Again here, autistic spaces overlap with NVC spaces, with a shredding of the dominator culture social contract. But in autistic spaces it often goes further, for example, it is usually perfectly OK to just get up and leave without explanation, there is trust and respect for autonomy. How liberating! Another overlap is the journey to become more aware of our needs, in order to make it more possible for them to be met and for us to be able to show up in ways we more enjoy.

What can make that journey harder in dominator culture, is the assumption and modelling and privileging of neurotypicality. By example by situating neurodifference within a domain of mental health categories. And from that comes an ensuing evaluation of what is acceptable or normative. And, it is my sense that this assumption often carries over from dominator culture, and its mental health professions, into our NVC cultures. Of course it does!

And seeing how Marshall rejected this social structure, his profession, was a large affirmation for me, and really contributed to why I was so attracted to NVC, even when it was so confusing to me as to why my needs as an autistic person were so unmet in so many NVC spaces, and even when I saw less of the embodiment or shared understanding of that aspect of Marshall's insight in our community of practise.

Sorry. Anyhow, I am delighted to be able to share a preview of some research my peers are doing. Here is your checklist, kinda!